Some of you may know that I am engaged.  A happy, wonderful, amazing (wait, why is it amazing? what are you trying to say, did you think it wouldn’t happen?…) event which left my fiancee and me both giddy and excited.  After it happened we wanted to share the news with everyone and our friends and families have been very supportive of us, however some of what came after the the magical moment of engagement is something for which for I wasn’t prepared.  Something also  have been working at understanding and accepting as what it is since approximately 26 hours after the event,  when the first “have you set a date” question was asked.

Once those words came out of whoever’s mouth, the first pebble fell for pretty much anyone (whether we new them or they were just admiring the ring) to ask, advise, and comment on what was to come for the celebratory ceremony.  The colors…The location…The food…The photographer…The DJ…You want to do what with the who and the where?  …blah, blah, blah….I know people mean well but I was grossly unprepared for the flash flood of questions.  I shall not let them drown me.  Somewhere in there I became the girl formerly known as Colleen and now identified as “the betrothed” over my many other identities.  At times I am no longer questioned about school, life, work and whatnot and only about the plans for the wedding.  I say “I” and “me” mainly because I believe it is a bit different for a guy.  They have a pretty cool way of getting past the mess.  They worked pretty dang hard to get the courage up to buy a kick-ass ring and start the ball rolling, they deserve some downtime.

Have shows like “Bridezilla”, “Who’s Wedding Is It Anyway” and “Say Yes to the Dress” (which I have never actually watched but seem to be perpetually on TVs at my gym) completely distorted views about what is really important during a wedding and changed how they should be held?

What works or worked for one person’s wedding or what they themselves have floating around in their mind may be beautiful and precious to them but, in the same way they have those ideas, we have our own ideas about our wedding and our own stances on what is and is not important, necessary, and appropriate.

Just remember, this was her idea of classy.

The planning of the wedding has really made me think more and more about this.   It is hard to steer your mind from getting all wrapped up in what the websites tell you is “necessary” for a wedding and it takes some strength to step back and consider if what is peaked your interest for that moment is actually on your mind because it is something you feel reflects your values, beliefs, and celebration or is it something you have been told should be there.  Things must be so planned and details must be worked out…or what?  Why must we do this or do that?  Why must the little things be so important?  Call me crazy but I personally don’t think the main attraction of the wedding is the fact that the flower arrangements contain eight pieces of baby’s breath and sixteen calla lilies and three-fourths of the budget was spent on flowers.  (Granted to me it is another thing if we are talking about three-fourths of a $2,000 the budget spent on a great keg of beer and multiple numbers of Tito’s bottles, but again, that’s just me)

What every little girl dreams of?

What I typically wanted to do.

Some girls have been planning their wedding since they were little, playing dress up with friends and envisioning the day where they will step their dainty foot out of of a white carriage festooned with roses onto a silk runner before thousands of guests in a storybook fashion to meet their prince charming.  I was making mud pies and skinning my knees from falling off of my bike (both of which I am still proud to do).   I never really thought of big white dresses and tiaras.  Seriously, I didn’t.  I remember when Princess Di walked down the isle for the mere fact the chap to whom she was getting hitched had really fun ears much more than the dress and seeing myself as such a bride.  That is just me and I’m not saying that way is wrong but daydreaming of doves being released while saying your vows is just not something I have never done.  I have only been thinking about this whole walk down the isle thing since I’ve had this beautiful ring on my left finger. {………..five minute typing pause, distracted by looking at my freaking awesome the ring……………..}

This was also someone's good idea.

So what do we want from our celebration?  Since the moment we thought of the wedding together, we keep saying that we want it to be fun and a party with our friends and family.  I think know the word “hoedown” has been used. There are things we don’t care about and things we feel very strongly about and since this is our wedding, we will plan it the way we want and I will flutter kick myself across that river so many brides get swept down.   The fact that we decided on beer selection and food way, way before we thought of locations says a lot on what we envision.   Yes, there are traditions we are going to stick with- like the fact that I am going to wear a dress instead my jeans and Dude Girl shirt or bike clothes- however I wouldn’t feel myself in a big ol’poofy number with ten yards of train, nor do I think it is our style to have ten people each in our wedding party.  We want every guest to be part of our wedding and not just those who stand right next to us and so that’s how it is going to be.  If the wedding and our ideas are not as traditional or too traditional as some may think, that’s cool with us because that is not what is important.  The most important tradition to us is the fact that we will be standing up there together with God making a commitment to each other for the rest of our lives and something as trivial as not having calligraphy on our invitation envelopes has no place overshadowing it.  So our plan for planning is to make it just that- exactly what we want.

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